It took me days of haggling with profoundly imbecilic, always patronizing, thoroughly useless and patently false sounding customer service reps before I gave up.

Conversations like the following abounded – at that time, they made me want to throw heads of cabbage in frustration. Now, they make me laugh:

Me: If you can’t resolve the issue, cancel my account immediately.
Reliance half-wit: Sorry, your account is not working; I can’t cancel it until it works.
Me: You’re kidding me, right? So I can’t use it, and can’t cancel it, but you’ll keep charging me for its rental?
Reliance half-wit: Yes sir.
Me: Sigh!! (hang up)

Another call:
Me: Why isn’t it fixed? You repeatedly promised me 2 days ago that it would be fixed in 4 hours!
Reliance cretin: Extremely sorry sir. I’ll put in a note saying that the customer wants it fixed immediately.
Me (thinking): Oh thank you! And here I was, asking for it to be fixed when Anil Ambani went bankrupt.
Me (talking): Really? You aren’t yanking me? Do you swear on your mother’s grave?
Reliance cretin: (Long silence). Yes sir.
Me: Okay. I’ll check back in 4 hours.

Naturally, it wasn’t fixed.

I then called the Reliance Communications head-office in Kopar Khairne, Navi Mumbai and screamed bloody murder at several people before the issue was resolved.